White Family Story pg 2

In July of 2000, we were being maliously harrassed by my parents,and the cps, so we took advice from others to leave the state,so we headed to Montana.We couldn't get any information on anything,and it felt like it was an endless battle to fight.Phone calls not being taken,or talking to our kids' was out of the question.We resided in Montana with some friends, and in December2000,it was so hard on me not being with my kids', and so my husband and I talked about possibilities, he knew I had to go back and try to get them back.He stayed behind,cause it was my decision, so he would not be aressted on some bogus charges,I needed him on the outside to encourage me the way he always did.To protect himself,and be there when I needed him long distance.Yes, we made mistakes, alot of them,but in the long run you learn to not make them again, I had to learn the hard way, I did.I left Montana on a bus in December2000,it was a long trip and exhausting for the youngest one.We arrived in Missouri four days later, cause we were held up in Minnesota,be cause of a snow storm.When we arrived, I'd call a local shelter to get to where they were.Now, yes I was so wrong in what I did, and I made things much worse,but I was walking in to the wolf pack, and I had to play wounded, a victim.I am not proud of what I did, and have asked for forgiveness for the wrong I caused.I thought,not knowing any better about the consquences,I claimed I was abused to seek shelter. I lived a lie to save my children, but I believe I was the one who needed saving.My husband is a good man and he has not once laid a finger on me ever.Yes, we have had verbal arguements,but I have never hit him,or he I.I was in the shelter, and the next day, my youngest son being very tired, and not having his daddy made him very irritable,as well as him having adhd,he would throw a fit,mind you,he is only five years old.The counselor there said that we can not have this behavior here,and said if he didn't settle down, we were out.I took him to the room to settle down,and get some more sleep.When we went down to eat,I had some women tell me that I better have my son checked,cause he was upset.The next day was the day I died!When we got up to go and see the counselor,she insisted we get him some counseling at a local hospital,I agreed,but I would take him.She then proceeded to make the call infront of him, and he heard this and became upset and threw a fit.We started outside to go to the vechicle,he was refusing to go,and ran towards a parking lot,I of course took off after him,and she followed.We finally got him to settle downand come back to the shelter, then she was yelling that they were going to call the police to come and get him,infront of him,again he became upset.Throwing a fit in the shelter,she went and called the police,and insisted a staff worker hold him down until they got there.This alone was tearing me up inside, feeling the scaryness he felt,and he was screaming for me, and they wouldn't let me near him.It was the worst feeling in the world, you can;t save your child,and you feel dead inside,what do I do.The officers show up and try to calm him down away from a crowd of people,he did calm down,the crowd scared him.I tried to talk to them to let him go to me and I will take him myself,all of this was unnecessary,and it would be better if you left him alone.Well,you know the answer to that one"NO".They took him to the hospital in the police car,and I rode behind with the counselor.This hospital dealt with kids' who were out of control, and you had to keep them there to get them better.I, still very upset,and tramatized myself,couldn't even talk to the intake workers there,so my Counselor took it upon herself to enlighten the intake worker.Of course she added to the story with a little more interesting comments,so they could evluate him, then put him in this hospital.I was basically threatened if I didn't sgin him in,they would call social services to do it,and hold me liable for endangering my son.By this time,forgetting all about my reasonings for being there,and all I had been through with my parents, I panicked and ask to call my parents, who didn't even know I was there.I tried calling with the intake worker there,but there was no answer.Convincing them to hold off, I kept trying to call,still no answer,so they held good on thier threat, for me to put himin there.They finished the paperwork,without letting me see him, they took him upstairs,and said I had to wait 72 hours before I can see him.I tried one last time to call my parents before leaving the hospital,and finally my stepdad answered the phone.Me, so frantic,and willing to do anything to help my son,pleaded with him to come down here and get him.He was shocked to hear I was there,and was upset that they put my son in a hospital.He argreed to be there as soon as they could, the counselor told me to leave with her and go back to the shelter, I didn't want to leave,but they said there is nothing you can do here now.It was like someone punched in my heart and tore it out, I didn't know what to say or do.I went back to the shelter with the counselor,and waited there impatiently for my parents to come.They first went to the hospital to see if they could see my son, but was denied,so they then came to the shelter about 2 hrs later.When I came outside I was overwhelmed to see my kids' there,I cried like a baby,hugged them endlessly,I was so full of loss,but seeing them put a little bit of relief back to me.We went to a local resturant to talk about everything,and then I was put into the hot seat with my own parents,as well as my oldest son.Being so upset during the day, I was still not being aware of what I was saying, all they wanted to hear is all about my husband.I knew I was not getting anywhere with them, they wanted to take my son out of the hospital,cause he should not be there,I agreed with them on that,but I was dumb founded at the time on what to do.Christmas was right around the corner,and him being in there during this time ,he should be with his family.My stepdad kept in close contact with me while at the shelter,he apparently had contacts,and got the ball rolling on getting my son out of that hospital.We went there after there 72 hr. no contact and saw him,the whole family wanted to see him,but I was allowed up there on the third floor where he was first. When I went through that door and saw him sitting there looking at me all dazed,it tore a big whole in my heart,I said to him it is mommy,he still looked at me like his eyes went through me,and I was not really standing there,again,I said honey,it is mommy,then he got up and ran right into my arms,he was hugging hard and didn't let go,I knew they were not taking care of him.All they were doing was drugging a little boy! He came back to me ,and then the nurse told him to show me his drawings he made for x-mas,he then took me to his room and showed me where he slept,and his clothes,and his bathroom.The room was bare,and it was like a cell for him,I was so furious inside.I wanted my son out of there right away! When his grandparents came up to see him,he acted up,cause we were allowed to bring him presents,but had to take them away from him as soon as he opened them,they would not allow him to keep any there.When we started bagging the gifts up,he became very upset and was throwing a fit,the nurses  was pressured by both the juvenile officer,and the social worker,who was also taking notes as we spoke, they pushed me for about 30 mins to decide, with threats as well. Being so upset and threatened,I sgined under duress,I had no choice.The Juvenile  officer then said that he was to stay with my parents under foster care.I did agree with that cause he would be with his siblings.I then went back to the shelter,and locked my self in my room,and cried,and cried for hours.I think I stayed cooped up in my room for days,only using the restroom.I believe I was the only one in this world that this had happened to.I didn't want to do nothing,it was like I died inside.After about a week of feeling sorry for myself,I had to obey the rules of the shelter for me to stay there. I had to participate in thier activities,classes,chores,and so on.With a lot of thinking and  realizing,I had to do something,cause my kids' need me. I think that was the thought  that got me through it all, I knew I could do it,it wouldn't be easy,but I will for them. I found that praying and asking the lord for his help, he will help me.He did in ways that made me stronger to fight the cps,and use them to my advantage. I did what they asked of me for one year and ahalf, and during this time I also battled the evil forces that over whelmed my parents,and children.I docuemented every conversation with the social worker,and court docuements(which I presented in court on my own behalf)and even the problems that arised with my parents.I did my own footwork,and the appointed attorney just sat in court,he even complimented me on my work. came in and told us we had to leave,cause we were upsetting him.They grapped him and held him back from us,and I was so upset I wanted to deck them! They put him in a holding cell that was padded,and he was still screaming, and the one nurse came with a needle,I asked her what was that,she said it was to calm him down,it is a sedative. She then said we had to leave and literally pushed us out of the door, I cried and cried,my babay,mom what are they doing to my baby?My syep-dad then said thats' it we are getting him out of here. We went home and he called some people,and told me to go down to that hospital and sgin him out of there against doctor's orders,that we will get him help else where.That is exactly what I did,and it took about an hour,but I got him out of that hell house.Of course,he wasn't aloud to go back to the shelter they said,so he went home with my mom and step dad.I stayed with him up until dark,and then went back to the shelter for the ninte.I knew I could relax a little bit,cause he was with them.But little did I know or exspect was my own parents stapped me in the back again.I was told that I had to go down to the courts that next day,I took along with me a legal consultant who work in the shelter. When we arrived there,ther sat my parents with my son,and I asked them what is going on, they said to me,don't worry we r here for you and it is going to be ok, just listen to them and do what they say.I was then asked to enter a little room with a desk and three chairs,two were for us,and the other was occupied by a social worker, the one who called us in was a juvenile officer,she sat behind the desk.At this point,I became very scared, but tried to remain calm.She asked why the person sitting next to me was there, and she explained she was there for moral support as well as legal counsel.It began,the interrogation,it was harsh and by all means cruel to the most extent.She began with my other kids',and the history told was all distorded, a time line was created by my oldest son,and he was so way off base on time peroids,and where we lived, I was trying to correct her on it, but she was so rude to say the least, what ever was written was correct be yound a shadow of a doubt,but it wasn't!Heresay from my children,and parents was missable.I then was threatened by this juvenile officer on the care of my son, if I did not sgin to give the department of children services temporary custody of my son,they would take him from me,and I will never get him back. If I sgin this I have a chance to go through a program that the courts set to get him back.I , being so upset and showing it now, turned to the so called legal counsel and asked what I should do, can they do this?According to her, she was not allowed to give me that kind of legal advice,she asked the juvenile officer if I had to sgin it before consultaning a attorney, to my surprise right then and there, this woman does not have a real legal license,she is only in the shelter,helping woman get restraining orders,thats it!She said to me she could not tell me it was good for me to sgin it,and I had to do something that very moment,I had no time.