* How do you get the "Keep off the Grass" sign on the grass?

* How do you get off a non-stop flight?

* How do you know when you've run out of invisible ink?

* How do you throw away a garbage can?

* How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

* If a pig is sold to the pawnshop, is it considered ham-hock?

* If a turtle lost his shell, is he homeless, naked, or both?

* If I save time, when do I get it back?

* If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?

* If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do?

* If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

* If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?

* If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?

* If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

* If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

* Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

* Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

* What do people in China call their good plates?

* What do you call a male ladybug?

* What do you say if you're talking to God, and he sneezes?

* What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?

* What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?

* What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

* What makes cheese so confidential that we actually need cheese shredders?

* When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

* When cows laugh, does milk come out of their noses?

* When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it to?

* Where do they get Spring water in the other 3 seasons?

* Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?

* Why aren't there ever any guilty bystanders?

* Why do people tell you when they are speechless?

* Why do they give you a tape with a VCR to tell you how to use it?

* Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

* Why do we need training bras? What can we teach them?

* Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

* Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game," when we are already there?

* Why do your feet smell and your nose runs?

* Why do you need an appointment to see a psychic... shouldn't they already know you're coming?

* Why does it take 15 minutes to cook minute rice?

* Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

* Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

* If your scared half to death twice, what happens? 

Any answers would be greatly appreciated, just post them on the message board, lol.