U ever been breathless, feeling like just bout 2 run outta air like a fish on dry land? Don’t panic! INRI has found an explanation to this phenomenon.
You certainly have heard about loss of ozone. That means the loss of ozone molecules high up in the stratosphere. This leads to holes in ozone layer, which allow Sun’s evil rays to reach Earth’s surface and to cause harm to human beings. INRI’s late researches have pointed this thesis to be nothing but nonsense.
For the first, the Sun is the creator of life, not its destroyer.
The name ozone cames from words oxygen and zone. It’s been proposed that the freon gases destroy this gas layer. "How came?" asked INRI, "the freons mean just more gases in the atmosphere, not less!", and launched a metaresearch to find out that the loss of ozone is caused by nothing else but population explosion. Human beings are just known to inhale oxygen and exhale carbondioxide. So it is this inspiration, that reduces the amount of atmospheric oxygen. The population explosion has accelerated the burnout of global oxygen resources in such an extent, that the remains of amazonian rainforests can’t anymore reproduce enough of it for all of us. When folks do not get enough oxygen, their resistance against diseases suffer and they get more easily flu.
Partially responsible to the situation are also scubadivers. They are known to pack billions of liters of oxygen every year in their tanks, and the amount is growing all the time.
What to do? Because largescale population reduction is not a realistic idea, for example Leevi And The Leavings has proposed to implement a breathing air taxation. Negatius Pectus conducted a test with Arthur Beach-Cuckoo in INRI Scifa lab. It was tested, if human respiratory system could work reverse way. ABC was given scuba gear filled with carbondioxide, and he was dropped in the four meter pool. The sad consequences are wellknown to anyone who has met Arthur since the 1980’s.
Next Pectus tried heart transplantation: if human heartbeat speed could be lowered, also the respiratory system would be slower, hence consuming less oxygen. The experiment was totally wrecked: after Arthur Beach -Cuckoo got a new heart from a threetoed sloth, he’s been hyperactive.
So, so far as this world oxygen problem is yet to be solved, we only can recommend to stay calm (THE OXYGEN IS ENDING!!!), because calm slow inspiration saves the oxygen to the future generations. If You feel dizzy, try moving into fresh air. Some people have stored air in jars and cellars, but the research results from how long oxygen can be stored this way are still waiting for publication somewhere in the archives of Tavo.
