Date: 3/1/2001
Headline: BMG/Louisiana
Story: Some celebrities keep a diary on their webpages. Me too. They tell what wonderful happened to them today. Well, to be honest, deep down inside we allknow that there is something wrong in this world. Terribly wrong. In fact the whole world is wrong. Welcome to my diary. Found out that celery ain't a good flavor in coffee, but it is a marvelous way to keep on bad mood. Few days ago I heard that my parents in Western Siberia hadn't been out for a week because the temperatures over there had been under -20 centigrades. Here in Keun Kuntry subtropix weather's been +20°, and there's no going out because there is a swarm of 42 million mosquitos and no company in North America manufactures a good repellent - such one that repels insects (and not humans). Two years ago I bought a watch-like electric mosquito repeller from Minnesota. It was advertised to create a three-meter skeeto-free area by "a dragonfly buzzing sound". You know, that dragonflies are enemies to mosquitos? Well, the mozzies don't - or then they do not have ears. They were just happily sucking next to "Mosquito Control". I wish a bad day to the guys at Lentek Company. ...and bytheway, the date over here is åt helvete.
Date: 3/8/2001
Story: Last night we got to the doc, as my wife's ear was aching. Waited there five hours - until midnite - to be served. There were policeguards in the lobby. All three had destroyed some donuts too many, so they were in pretty heavy shape. I guess that's the reason they (+ no-one else) didn't mind helping eg. a wheelchair patient struggling through the doors. Still, after halfayear in the US, we don't have a television. Last night we watched it for five hours in the hospital lobby. Got pretty assured that I still am in no need of tv - especially as all You can see here is domestic production. Drives a human being donuts!.
Date: 4/17/2001
Story: March went in being ill: I first spent two days coughing thru the nights. Then I tried medicine. Very soon later I noticed thatit wasn’t cough medicine but inhalation liquid. Do not try this home – go outside, because it makes You puke. Spent the rest of the night waiting for doctor’s results about intoxication. Then I spent the rest of the week coughing thru the nights, until on satday a doc recogized bronchitis. Other nice happenings: someone designed a cute dent to our Dodge Damned Intrepid on the parking lot, and left without a clue. Neighbor kids practised baseball thru our window. What on Earth did they think – there were walls & windows in any direction on 20 m radius. Then these kids grow up to be presidents..
March went in being ill: I first spent two days coughing thru the nights. Then I tried medicine. Very soon later I noticed thatit wasn’t cough medicine but inhalation liquid. Do not try this home – go outside, because it makes You puke. Spent the rest of the night waiting for doctor’s results about intoxication. Then I spent the rest of the week coughing thru the nights, until on satday a doc recogized bronchitis.
Other nice happenings: someone designed a cute dent to our Dodge Damned Intrepid on the parking lot, and left without a clue. Neighbor kids practised baseball thru our window. What on Earth did they think – there were walls & windows in any direction on 20 m radius. Then these kids grow up to be presidents..
Story: Yesterday I visited K-Mart. It is one of these monopoly-pursuing market chains with ten cashier units of which only two are working, thus creating long lines of frustrated shoppers. I had picked the following items: -bottle of rootbeer -white bread (like there was freedom of bread choice in the USA) -strawberries. As the cashier was serving the lady before me, I picked a shopping bag from my pocket. The cashier saw it and I explained, that I had my own bag with me, I don't need plastic bag. As my turn came, the cashier started to load my things to a plastic bag. I said another time that I do not need it, I have my own bag. The cashier put -the bottle in one plastic bag, -the bread in another and -the strawberries in third plastic bag. I was too surprised to check if the cashier was alive.
Date: 4/24/2001
Headline: BMG/Finland
Story: After spending nine months in the United States (Of America) I just arrived back to free world.
Date: 6/19/2001
Story: Intro: In Finland You can go to railway station and buy a return ticket, which is a little cheaper than if You get separate tickets from the counter or aboard. The ticket is valid one month. Last week: I went to Hämeenlinna Railway Station to get a return ticket to Helsinki for my wife. The cashier said that I must know in which train she is leaving. So I went back to wife’s office, and returned to the station. A return ticket, to tomorrow’s train at 6.11. Then the cashier asked, in which train she is returning. Of course I did not know that. Back to wife’s office. She did not know either what time she would be able to return. So I had to buy oneway ticket to Helsinki, 6.11. What had happened was that Finnish Railways started to sell reserved seats to every traveller last week. That’s why the ticket is also pretty much more expensive than earlier. Also, it does not anymore matter where You purchase the ticket - it’s always the same price. Actually, a reserved seat in Finnish train is almost never essential, there are always free seats. I used to mention here & abroad, how comfortable and inexpensive it is to travel by train in Finland. Especially in restaurant cars, where it is easy to meet shy Finnish (or not so shy foreign) strangers. I now eat my words: FINNISH TRAINS ARE SO DARN EXPENSIVE, THAT TAKE A BUS. Besides: The tiny snacks & drinks You could purchase from restaurant car are also very valuable things. (Once I stepped aboard in Tampere, and settled in a table with group of young adults. They had large pizzas with them, everybody could see right away, that these plates were not from the train’s restaurant. The story was, that they just came from Oulu, and as the train was approaching Tampere, they ordered pizza taxi to Tampere Railway Station. The restaurant server was not happy with this, as bringing own food is prohibited there, but did not take the the pizzas away). Outro: Beware of "IC" trains. They are even more expensive that the common express trains, and very seldom any faster. They say that the abbreviation is for "intercity", but actually it means "idiot cashing".
Intro: In Finland You can go to railway station and buy a return ticket, which is a little cheaper than if You get separate tickets from the counter or aboard. The ticket is valid one month.
Last week: I went to Hämeenlinna Railway Station to get a return ticket to Helsinki for my wife. The cashier said that I must know in which train she is leaving. So I went back to wife’s office, and returned to the station. A return ticket, to tomorrow’s train at 6.11. Then the cashier asked, in which train she is returning. Of course I did not know that. Back to wife’s office. She did not know either what time she would be able to return. So I had to buy oneway ticket to Helsinki, 6.11.
What had happened was that Finnish Railways started to sell reserved seats to every traveller last week. That’s why the ticket is also pretty much more expensive than earlier. Also, it does not anymore matter where You purchase the ticket - it’s always the same price. Actually, a reserved seat in Finnish train is almost never essential, there are always free seats.
I used to mention here & abroad, how comfortable and inexpensive it is to travel by train in Finland. Especially in restaurant cars, where it is easy to meet shy Finnish (or not so shy foreign) strangers. I now eat my words: FINNISH TRAINS ARE SO DARN EXPENSIVE, THAT TAKE A BUS. Besides: The tiny snacks & drinks You could purchase from restaurant car are also very valuable things. (Once I stepped aboard in Tampere, and settled in a table with group of young adults. They had large pizzas with them, everybody could see right away, that these plates were not from the train’s restaurant. The story was, that they just came from Oulu, and as the train was approaching Tampere, they ordered pizza taxi to Tampere Railway Station. The restaurant server was not happy with this, as bringing own food is prohibited there, but did not take the the pizzas away).
Outro: Beware of "IC" trains. They are even more expensive that the common express trains, and very seldom any faster. They say that the abbreviation is for "intercity", but actually it means "idiot cashing".
Date: 7/29/2001
Story: A classic story. As every man, woman & mutant knows, Me, Myself & Wife moved from Louisiana to Finland in April. We left our 29 boxes to be transported by company called Classic International. Remember the name. I had ordered the transportation at 10 one Friday last spring. On Thursday CI announced that the guys are a bit late, promised to appear around noon. At 10 I called back and heard that the truck is approaching our remote corner of Globe. They´ll be picking our boxes at 15. At 16 I called again to hear, that the guys will absolutely surely be there at 18. Now, our friends had planned a farewell party to us at 1830, so it just did not suit. So we compromised, that CI will pick our boxes at 23, when the party should be over. Quarter past 23 the CI guys found our place and at last we got rid of our moving worries - we were leaving the country next mornning at 11. So stressed were we, that as the other guy said "feel free to tip us", we didn´t remember to shout them like hell. Then the boxes arrived in Europe. In Belgium. They were not sent forward until we paid extra $250 to bring the things to us apartment. CI said, that we only had paid for transportation to Helsinki (100 kms away from Hämeenlinna). We didn´t pay the extra "dumb tax".. What happened then was one-month bureaucracy warfare, which ended to our victory. We had a contract paper, where the destination was clearly stated to be further away than Helsinki. After two months from our moving we finally got our boxes. 28 of them. Actually there were 29 boxes, of which one appeared to belong to some German guy, to Germany. We tried to contact the addresses written in there, consulting also Classic International (which, as I had learned, did not respond at all), but nobody seems to be interested of that box. So, if Aasmund Helleroy from Flensburg happens to read this, please, come and get Your box. We have not opened it. Also, If someone at Classic International happens to be there, feel free to use this text in Your company’s advertisement pages.
A classic story.
As every man, woman & mutant knows, Me, Myself & Wife moved from Louisiana to Finland in April. We left our 29 boxes to be transported by company called Classic International. Remember the name.
I had ordered the transportation at 10 one Friday last spring. On Thursday CI announced that the guys are a bit late, promised to appear around noon. At 10 I called back and heard that the truck is approaching our remote corner of Globe. They´ll be picking our boxes at 15. At 16 I called again to hear, that the guys will absolutely surely be there at 18.
Now, our friends had planned a farewell party to us at 1830, so it just did not suit. So we compromised, that CI will pick our boxes at 23, when the party should be over. Quarter past 23 the CI guys found our place and at last we got rid of our moving worries - we were leaving the country next mornning at 11. So stressed were we, that as the other guy said "feel free to tip us", we didn´t remember to shout them like hell.
Then the boxes arrived in Europe. In Belgium. They were not sent forward until we paid extra $250 to bring the things to us apartment. CI said, that we only had paid for transportation to Helsinki (100 kms away from Hämeenlinna). We didn´t pay the extra "dumb tax"..
What happened then was one-month bureaucracy warfare, which ended to our victory. We had a contract paper, where the destination was clearly stated to be further away than Helsinki.
After two months from our moving we finally got our boxes. 28 of them. Actually there were 29 boxes, of which one appeared to belong to some German guy, to Germany. We tried to contact the addresses written in there, consulting also Classic International (which, as I had learned, did not respond at all), but nobody seems to be interested of that box.
So, if Aasmund Helleroy from Flensburg happens to read this, please, come and get Your box. We have not opened it. Also, If someone at Classic International happens to be there, feel free to use this text in Your company’s advertisement pages.
Date: 10/23/2001
Story: I never forget the day I graduated from university and returned to my hometown to fill in unemployment benefit application. Last Thursday Vompatti gathered to practise in this town, Arctopolis. Keyboard wizard Rappana had run out of job just yesterday. In a service station a bum in gases comes to ask me, if I would go "down there" and buy him a bottle of denatured alcohol in blue`n´white bottle, because "they don’t sell me anymore". It’s a beautiful world we live in, a sweet romantic place.
I never forget the day I graduated from university and returned to my hometown to fill in unemployment benefit application.
Last Thursday Vompatti gathered to practise in this town, Arctopolis. Keyboard wizard Rappana had run out of job just yesterday.
In a service station a bum in gases comes to ask me, if I would go "down there" and buy him a bottle of denatured alcohol in blue`n´white bottle, because "they don’t sell me anymore".
It’s a beautiful world we live in, a sweet romantic place.
Date: 4/10/2002
Story: SK Karwin was born in 08032002. At last we Beta5 could fill the INRI leadership. Because I am a birder, SK got her first bird at the age of one day. There was a pair of great tits (Parus major) outside hospital window. At that same age she also smiled for the first time (pure accident). At the age of two weeks she started to crawl (when shaking her hands&feet during stomach aches she clearly makes her way forward). She is talented actress (doesn't cry when there are strangers around: they get completely wrong picture from our princess), and also is she a musical prodigy: when I carry her to our stereo loudspeaker, she ceases crying and listens very concentrated (I just wonder if she gets misorientated later in nature, where also is plenty of birdsong but nowhere big black boxes). SK started to speak at the age of three weeks. Her first word was "EU". As my political stand is against European Union, I think that my duty as an educator is to have a serious conversation with SK about talking such dirty. OK, now I must go & feed the kid & clean the mess. Piss off. That's what happens around here.
Date: 6/19/2003
Headline: BMG/Italy
Story: Greetings from Napoli. To begin with, there’s no use to call it Naples. No-one in there speaks but italian. Except the tourist informer in Stazione Centrale – and don’t ask him anything out of the city: he’s only responsible for the Napoli city area. First evening we had a walk through the city, and observed: -a young couple almost mating on a moped front of a church -on a piazza of another church: used drug needle -a dead kitten. Traffic is living hell. The only rule is car/scooter horn. Streets are dirty, once I passed a kid shitting on the pavement middle of the city. Only on Tunisian cropfields have I seen as much plastic garbage as in the bay of Napoli. Due to siesta nothing is open after 13, and siesta ends next morning around 9-10. After dark it’s not healthy to stroll outside illuminated main streets. In Italy appointments & schedules are at least half an hour late. Learned two words of Italian: chiuso = closed, vietato = forbidden. I just spent a week in +30 degrees in Napoli with a kid.
First evening we had a walk through the city, and observed:
-a young couple almost mating on a moped front of a church
-on a piazza of another church: used drug needle
-a dead kitten.
Traffic is living hell. The only rule is car/scooter horn. Streets are dirty, once I passed a kid shitting on the pavement middle of the city. Only on Tunisian cropfields have I seen as much plastic garbage as in the bay of Napoli. Due to siesta nothing is open after 13, and siesta ends next morning around 9-10. After dark it’s not healthy to stroll outside illuminated main streets. In Italy appointments & schedules are at least half an hour late.
Learned two words of Italian: chiuso = closed, vietato = forbidden.
I just spent a week in +30 degrees in Napoli with a kid.
Date: 8/20/2004
Story: Greetings from two week of vacation. Started with homecomputer returning from the repairer. After half a week the new hard drive went kaputt. So, lacking with leisure activities like surfing, I purchased & planted that cherry tree we had planned to plant with wife since our Kirsikka-named daughter was born. Wife was at work just then, so it was to be a merry surprize. Then begun the rain. When it had lasted 40 hours without break, we packed the car for west coast, where it was told to have been an indian summer going on. Of course, just when we got there, it was a jolly northstorm going on - no hope of boating and swimming. Then our kid got ill and we spent two nights in hospital. Or wife spent, as only one of the parents was allowed to overnight in the department. I was two nites as a beach bum. In the beginning of the second week we returned to the crap beaches of sunny Hauho: our Lake Akki suffered from Cyanobacteria. Instead we visited Lake Iso-Roine's sandbeach. Beautiful weather, water warm & bright, after a swim having a coffee on fireplace, where I stepped on - someone's shit. S**t, if this was an official beach, our health inspectors would immediately close it! Next day: Lake Ilmoilanselka beach; otherwise nice, but a nearby pigfarm smelled pig time. The secretary of my working place explained, that that farm does not always smell - well, I guess not in january-february. There was no loo in there either, so everytime I stepped off the beaten path, I knew my feet got pissed. The day after wife was working in town, and when returning she had with her - that cherry tree we had planned so long. Got angry as she saw what I had purchased a week ago. The last weekend of our vacation we spent working in local lake protection societies' summer happenings.
Date: 1/22/2005
Story: K's weblog today: shoveled snow from point A to point B. Pointless.
Date: 2/27/2005
Story: I start feeding winter birds as soon as the landscape is snowcovered; by then the migrants should be in Deep South & the rest of the bunch experiencing difficulties in getting their daily share. Lately I have started wonder if I am doing good at all, even though we have -15C nights now. Namely: -this winter has been very mild in Finland, we've had much moist weather with rains, resulting on manymany Salmonella epidemics in S Finland. My feeder is one of those affected. I found several Pyrrhula pyrrhulas and Acanthis flammeas dead and had to mercykill one myself. -neighbour has two cats. I've declared a war on them. I have a gun. A watergun. Nice surprise for a cat in -15C. But I can't guard all the time. Once we whole family saw as a cat catched a Pyrrhula below our very eyes. What does such a sight to a three year old kid's psyche? -according to tracks on snow, there's also Accipiter nisus feeding on our feeder. Eating not the seeds. Well the last one I can accept, it's natural, but I am wondering if I more kill little birds with my efforts rather than help them survive in the snow.
Date: 3/23/2005
Story: NEWS FROM FINLAND Three young adults were killed by night when camping along Lake Bodom, S Finland. That happened 45 years ago. Today police announced the case has now reached the state where prosecuting authority takes over. Suspected is the only survivor of the campers, now a 62 year old man. The last recording of popular singer Aki Sirkesalo was released one month ago. Sirkesalo's family (with wife and two sons) went missing on Thailand's christmas tsunami. One day after publishing, the record had sold the amount needed for a Finnish gold record (all-times record time here). Aki's and his wife's corpses were identified in the beginning of March. I used to live in Pori, SW Finland, the longtime capital of Finnish unemployment. Whenever I observe news from Pori on my current province's newspaper, they are about murders or drugs.
Date: 4/5/2005
Story: Dolomedes fimbriatus is one of the largest of European spiders (body upto 2 cm + legs). It is rather common along waterways. It's been said that it's the only "dangerous" spider in Northern Europe, bite hurting like a wasp's sting. Last week I came across with one of the kind on lake ice. I made a scientific experiment to learn more about this species, using a human being as a lab rat. You see, I respect animal rights That human being was me It did not actually hurt much more than a mosquito, but after half a minute tip of my thumb was anaesthetized, and that lasted for 16 hours. After that it took yet eight more hours to get rid of all syumptoms. Powerful stuff Not for the allergic.
Date: 3/27/2006
Headline: BMG/South Africa
Story: Touristguideboox tell Ya dat when in South Afrika, Ya get robb'd, mugg'd & offer'd weeds. In traffik lites if anyone is approachin Ur vehikle, better lok da doorz & speedaway like a roket against all reds. Every other day that we three blondes spent in there, sirtainly lookin like tourists with xpensive optix, with lil kid, someun ask'd if we were feeling unsafe or threaten'd or sometin. In South Afrikan landspace there's so ruton much elektrik barbwire that it'll be enough to draw a line from here to Betelgeuze. During our almost-two-weex in da Republik we didn't live any dangers. The only gun I got to see was my own miniature Swiss army knife. If we had speed'd off in red traffik lites when some hat or sunglass sella waz walkin towards, we'd most possibly gotten into a traffik axident. No sitizen waz rude to us. Da most dangaroos kuntry I've been to is still US of A. Da only place where I've seen a robbery (several onez), been cheated and threatened (both physikally & psykikally).
Date: 4/7/2006
Story: Spring is coming in north woods, that's easily noticed from the power shortages, as trees with wet snow load fall over electric lines. Also Cygnus cygnus (whopper swans) have arrived and choke around here. If I was in their boots, I would be very concerned about this human flu of 2006: I am currently suffering season's second round and it feels like there's an alien growing in my right lung. Doctor checked it and he confirmed seeing something green inside my nostrils. I go sneezing around just a little while more, and soon there will be a little alien growing inside all of us.
Date: 5/22/2006
Story: Finland won the Eurovision song contest. We apologise.
