Will the War on Terror Hurt the War on Drugs?

BY

Reverend Roger C. Henderson

  

I saw that question asked in the Sunday Parade Magazine recently.  To tell you the truth I’d forgotten all about the “War on Drugs”.  Actually when you say that phrase out loud… “The War on Drugs”… it sounds rather strange.  Especially in a town (Kalamazoo, Michigan) where Pharmacia (Formerly Upjohns) is one of the largest employers in the area.  “Fighting for a Drug Free America”…the well known battle cry of “The War” is another peculiar phrase.  I suppose part of the strangeness stems from seeing the “Just Say No” style public service announcements sandwiched between a hemorrhoid cream commercial and a Bob Dole spot for Viagra.  Hmmm, lets go to the World Book Dictionary for a definition of the word DRUG:  “A substance (other than food) that, when taken into the body, produces a change in it.”  Well, that’s pretty straightforward…and it would seem to cover Preparation H suppositories, Viagra AND the crack cocaine that has inner city mothers so understandably worried.  Maybe what we’re dealing with here is, in part at least, a simple case of sloppy definitions.  Lets take another look at the old dictionary:  “If the changes helps the body, the drug is a medicine; if the change harms the body, the drug is a poison.”  OK, that might help us a bit.  We seem to have at least TWO types of drugs; Medicines and Poisons!  Good drugs and Bad drugs if you will.  Let’s see where that takes us…

“If it helps the body…”, that seems to cover the Preparation H.  Relieving the “pain and itch of hemorrhoids” sure sounds like “helping the body” to me!  And I suppose enabling old Bob to get a hard on for Brittany Spears in their Pepsi commercial is MOSTLY a good thing.  (His golden retriever seems to think so at least.)  What about the crack cocaine?  Let’s give the dictionary another shot at this shall we..?  Crack:  “An extremely potent, free-based form of cocaine with a short-effect.”  Hmmm, that doesn’t help much…what about cocaine in general… “A drug used to deaden pain and as a stimulant… When used in excess, it can cause systemic poisoning.”  WELL!  The comment about poisoning seems to point pretty much to the “Bad Drug” side of things.  On the other hand Cocaine IS used by medical professionals as a topical anesthetic to deaden pain.  I’ve seen cocaine used as the anesthetic of choice in minor eye surgery and other medical procedures.  Here’s a concept that I’ve actually heard before… the substance itself is neither good nor bad, medicine or poison.  It depends on the specific use to which it is put.  Aspirin is a WONDERFUL drug.  It cured our headaches for years until our “Modern Headaches” were got too tough for a worn out old drug like aspirin!  Thank God for the pharmaceutical (Thank you Pharmacia… my resume is in the mail!) companies and their NEW drugs like Excedrin and Tylenol.  Bye bye Bayer hello Motrin! 

OK, I’m wandering rather far a field here…(NOT all that unusual for a man of my age.  I probably need to increase my daily dose of Echinacea!)  Where were we?  Ah… “Fighting for a Drug Free America!”  Since we’ve found that drugs are BOTH medicines AND poisons maybe that phrase should be “Fighting for a Poison Free America!”  Of course we need poisons to kill weeds and pests in our homes and gardens.  And the military DOES need to keep a few stockpiles of the Truly Deadly Ones for experimentation…just in case the terrorists (Remember the Terrorists?  This IS an article about Terrorists after all!)… Just in case the Terrorists decide to use those poisons against US.  Damn, this is harder that I thought!  What ARE we going to use for a catch phrase for our “War on Drug”?  “Fighting for an End to Self-Administered Poisons used in the name of Recreational Activities?”  Yow!  Don’t bother to run THAT up the flag pole…  Sigh