WELCOME TO ADOPTESE, THE ADOPTION CROSSROADS MESSAGE BOARD!
The Adoptese message board is not for promoting adoption or singing its praises. It is for exposing adoption myths and lies. It is for healing for those who have been separated by adoption. If you participate, you will be expected to open your mind and listen.
What is the purpose of Adoptese?
Adoptese is a healing support group for people who are experiencing adoption trauma–those who have been separated from natural family members by adoption. Members discuss adoption issues and events that cause the destruction of natural families. The message board also permits posting about adoption news stories, articles and research to keep members updated on what is going on, however, this is not the primary focus of the message board. Members who join explore the destruction caused by adoption--how it injures natural family members.
Who are members of Adoptese?
The members of Adoptese are people (adoptees and exiled parents and grandparents) who have been injured by adoption.
What Adoptese is not:
Adoptese is not a "triad" group. In adoption there is no equality for natural parents or their children (adoptees). Adoptese is not a place to defend adoption or attack people who are trying to heal from grief and loss.
Before posting you agree that you have read and agreed to follow the regulations set in this Code of Conduct. You are also aware that the maintainer/moderator reserves the right to update or change this Code at anytime.
1. Agreement: By joining this message board you agree that you will not post any material which is false, defamatory, inaccurate, abusive, vulgar, hateful, harassing, obscene, profane, sexually oriented, threatening, invasive of a person's privacy, adult material, or otherwise in violation of any International or United States Federal law.
2. Temper: Temper your anger. For those just joining please do not direct your anger at long-time members. Long time members, please temper your anger and do not attack new members who are asking questions and want to learn. By being patient and respectful of each other, you might learn something constructive and enlightening.
3. Language: Survivors of adoption trauma do not get respect (mothers who grieve their lost children and adopted people who lost natural families). Therefore, please use respectful language at all times. You agree to use Respectful communication:
a. Civility is mandatory. Angry outbursts and personal attacks are not permitted. Use polite, appropriate language! Cursing, flaming, picking fights, accusatory/defaming language, name calling, etc. will not be tolerated. Expressing one’s anger and other "negative" feelings is perfectly acceptable provided you do not personally attack other members. Please keep cursing to a minumum, some words are offensive to some members. Please note that repeated (3) violations of this guideline will result in removal from the message board.
b. Please do not use demeaning "birth" pre-fixes such as "birthmother" and "bmom" which portray natural mothers as incubators which have been created by the adoption industry to emotionally detach natural family members. (Read "Why Birthmother Means Breeder" by Diane Turski) The profound relationship of mother and child does not end at birth. Therefore, please do not use "birth" pre-fixes such as "birthson" and "bson" which are offensive terms created by the adoption industry to emotionally detach natural family members. B-prefixes or birth-prefix words can be replaced with natural or first or simply removed (e.g. first mother, natural mother, mother). Other acceptable terms include exiled mother, mother who lost her child to adoption and life mother.
c. Adoptees did not get any more respect than their natural mothers. The term "adopter" is not any more acceptable than the b-terms and as such will not be tolerated. Many adoptee members find this term as offensive as the "b-terms". A-rents, adoptive parents, apars, aparents are all acceptable terms to use instead. The message board needs to be safe for everyone not just those who are okay with the a-term.
d. Your sensitivity and consideration to other members of this board is a way for all of us to get the respect we need and deserve. We appreciate your cooperation.
4. Copying and re-posting: If you want to copy the words of another member please request their permission prior to reposting their words. Please give credit where credit is due, cite who wrote an article and where it was originally printed/posted and where you found it. Quoting messages on the board is perfectly acceptable.
5. Privacy: Please be aware that this message board can be found via search engines. What you post here is viewable to the public! While only members can post, anyone is able to read what members post.
6. Search Help: The message board is not the place to get search help. Please refer to the Search and Support section on the main Adoption Crossroads webpage for search help and support. All posts seeking search help will be removed.
|7. Spam: All spam will be removed. Spammers will not be able to post or gain access to the message board. Spam is defined as disruptive, commercial or other mass emails that do not fit the adoptees message board.
8. Changes: The moderators reserve the right to change the Code of Conduct at any time without prior notice to fit the developing and ongoing needs of the message board community.
